Volume 1 - August 29, 2006 Number 19

Priceless!

Conducting a meeting that fulfills the agenda and ends on time is expected. Conducting a meeting that fulfills the agenda and runs over time happens—occasionally! Conducting a meeting that doesn't fulfill the agenda yet ends on time shows lack of preparation. Conducting a meeting that doesn't fulfill the agenda and ends late—shows lack planning. Conducting a meeting that fulfills the agenda and ends early—priceless!

Limited Vocabulary

Someone asked me this weekend “Why can’t you write a story without all the cussing in it?” I thought about it for several days and I came up with many answers. I can write stories without cussing in them and I have done it to make a living as a newspaper reporter. There just isn’t a big market for cussing news stories, although I think cussing might liven up some of the dreadful reporting we hear and read. I’ve written more research papers than I care to remember and I still do it. That’s sick because no one even makes me do it. I’ve written short stories, magazine articles and journal pieces without a single curse word in them. However, when it comes to story telling, I prefer writing stories about some of the people I grew up with who were not under the confines of corporate speak or the new Negrodom. Person is a perfectly good word. It is innocuous and nondescript unlike a single character in my stories. The people who populate my scenes are bad MFs, stupid MFs and fine MFs. I usually have a few heavy MFs, thieving MFs and nasty MFs in my stories. If the characters are from around my hometown then I add some country ass MFs, jive ass MFs and sorry ass MFs to the repertoire. I always keep a few bastards and bitches and hoes around for comic relief. I could use words like prostitutes, drunks, and thieves to describe my characters but a “lady of the night” just doesn’t have the cachet of a “ho,” nor does a “tough guy” come close to being a bad MF. Characters falling outside that mode are dressed accordingly. I can’t have my doctors and lawyers speaking in such a manner. Or, can I? I don’t use MF in everything I write because a lot of what I write is audience driven, but even then, I do it my own MFing way.

A Barrel of Laughs

I’m not sure where the phrase “a barrel of laughs” came from, but during the Jim Crow era blacks in some Southern cities were required to laugh into a barrel placed along the street in case of spontaneous laughter breaking out. Often whites thought local Negroes laughed at them and came up with the idea of the laughing barrel as a way to keep Negro laughter from being heard. For a close up view of laughing barrels, read “Darktown Strutters” by Wesley Brown and you’ll see why some things that happened to black would have been laughable if they weren’t true.

Minicams, Garlic and Crucifixes

It is a well-known fact that vampires are allergic garlic and crucifixes. In our favorite horror movies, we watch as they cringe in the shadow of the crucifix and hide from the smell of garlic. When I see that I am reminded of the LA Police department, seems that minicams work on them like crucifixes and garlic does on vampires.

Speaking of California Law Enforcement—Be Scared

I am reminded of another movie “The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight,” after looking back over a 2005 shootout conducted by the Los Angeles Sheriff’s department to stop an unarmed driver in an SUV. Breaking the law is breaking the law BUT—officers fired more than 120 rounds to stop the SUV driver and only wounded him! By the way, another person was shot—a Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department deputy! Don’t these officers receive marksmanship classes? This was like hunting in that no one was shooting back and police ended up with more wounded houses and trees than perpetrators. Advice to casual offenders: Stand still; you have a better chance of escaping injury.

Welcome to the United States

People of Middle-Eastern descent are being stopped, searched, questioned and even jailed following the most recent terrorist bust in the United Kingdom. If you think you’re being feeling persecuted and singled-out for harassment—it’s not your imagination! It’s 2006 and blacks are still painted with the same stereotypical profile brush. For years, African-Americans cringed at every disaster, thinking, “I hope no blacks were involved.” I still find myself doing it because I remember a time when all African Americans were painted with the same broad brush of racism. I called it the “one bad apple” theory, because the actions of one African American would be used to depict an entire race. Not that you’ve noticed, African-Americans in the US and abroad fought and are fighting racial stereotypes. When you get tired of racists burning your mosques, changing seats to move away from you and terrorizing your children at school, then you might find time to bring your voice out against terrorism. You might also take time to learn something about what it means to be discounted, diminished in a country built on freedom by learning a little African-American history. In this country, you are free to criticize the government and protest, but make no mistake about it, when it comes time to be counted you’re either an American or not. All the hyphens go away. There are no African-Americans, Italian-Americans or German-Americans—there are only Americans with an allegiance to the United States. By not speaking out forcefully against terrorism, you put yourself at risk because you are seen as part of the problem. Many Americans are ready to believe that every Middle Eastern male is a terrorist, suicide bomber or murderer and would gladly take their civil rights away to be safe from a perceived threat no matter the truth. Rational thought says that is not true, but rational thought has always been the first causality in this country’s racial issues. In case you’re not familiar with American history, which is a major mistake in this country, the United States put Japanese-Americans into concentration camps during World War II and they were American citizens! In situations like this, the common thought is you’re either for us or you’re against us. There is no in-between. Intellectual discussions and rational debate will be lost to mob mentality. This is just a word to the wise from someone who has lived through the policy changes of “freedom,” in the United States.

Never Let Them See You Sweat

In the corporate world, women increasingly hold management positions, which is certainly overdue. However, here’s a word to the wise—never let them see you cry. Most men would never admit it, but they see women as overly emotional which means weak in the small minds of some men. Last week, I sat through a meeting with my manager and a team of subject matter experts. The session was heated and the conversations on edge, but we countered every objection with good business procedure and kept the meeting on track to a productive solution. That is, until my manager broke out crying. The meeting stopped. Several people went to her side to ask if something had happened. It turned out to be her nerves in a pressure packed, confrontational and competitive meeting. I looked around the table at the men after she stepped out to recompose herself. The “I told you so” looks on their faces said it all. No matter that my manager directs an award winning, overachieving, sales team; everyone of those men saw was a weak manager, unable to handle the daily pressure regular business. In that instant, she plummeted to the bottom of the list as a serious contender for any higher positions. No one said that, but she effectively shot herself in the head. The word would spread and even though no one would ever be crude enough to bring it up, it will hang around her neck like an albatross. Women, men still exist who believe you should be at home raising children rather than taking another “man’s job.” They won’t admit it. They are far too politically savvy to do that. They understand lawsuits and discrimination charges. Some men expect certain performance issues from women and one of them is an inability to control their emotions. Right or wrong, you have to guard against any perception that could be negative to your career and weakness surely tops the list. I am not saying change yourself. I am saying be aware of how behavior is perceived by others, especially men because more than likely a man will have some direct impact on your next step up the ladder. Don’t give them ammunition to shoot you down. Never let them see you sweat!

History

Throughout history whenever there's a fool's errand there's been no shortage of volunteers—Doctor Bodacious.