October 26, 2006 Number 26

Where Do You Want Me to Put It?

One of my favorite songs by a group called Solo may now be an anthem for drug side-effects. One side-effect of taking erectile dysfunction drugs might be blindness! The condition, described as a "stroke of the eye," can cause vision loss in one or both eyes. It is caused by insufficient blood flow to the optic nerve head, damaging the nerve and leading to permanent vision loss. It confirms that blood flow to the brain is interrupted during erections.

On Shaky Ground

At fourteen-years-old, my Catholic school tenure combined with over-active hormones, led to a crush on the 23-year-old girl’s gym teacher, Mrs. Enders who possessed one set of perky breasts, shapely legs and a perpetual tan. Mr. Enders, a former marine with 24-inch biceps, discouraged my interest without my interest ever coming to light. Times certainly have changed and are more favorable these days for 14-year-old boys. I came along too early!

Now, Something Extra!

DVD releases make a big deal out pointing out the disc contains “never seen before” footage. Think about it for a moment. If the footage never saw the light of day, it wasn’t crucial to the movie or the scenes would have been in the original release.

Stand Up for America

This is America, land of the brave and a country of “do-it-yourselfers.” If you’re thinking about suicide, do it, get some help like Jack Kevorkian, but don’t take anyone else with you. That’s the American way. We stand alone. You don’t need an ally. I’m not unsympathetic because life can be tough, but last week a suicidal girl crashed the family Mercedes into a Geo and succeeded in killing everyone except herself and escaped with only a broken ankle. Whatever happened to the good old days when you could wave you wallet at the police and die in a hale of gunfire. Of course, after Los Angeles police fired 120 rounds at a suspect and only hit him four times, none fatal, perhaps a closed garage and a started car are a better way. Okay, that was over the line, but . . .

Sex Education

As a Catholic boy, I attended sex education classes taught by nuns and priests at meetings of the Catholic Youth Organization. Boys went with the priests and the girls with the nuns. Knowing the church’s rules on celibacy I often wonder about our teachers. Now, years later, I understand that experience counts.

Concerned Citizen

Observation: the short bus makes a lot of stops in my neighborhood. I wonder if they are picking up or dropping off?

Truth in Advertising

Saturday I saw a sign in the bookstore “Christian Fiction.” I didn’t comment. Sometimes you have to pass on the easy ones.

Potent Medicine

I saw this on the side of a medicine bottle: In case of death or other serious complications, contact your physician. I wonder how many people read that?

Doctor Bodacious